Outcast

I don't intend that title as dramatically or seriously as it might seem. But it is how a my own family makes me feel a lot of times. And I know that I'm not the only one that has been made to feel this way by the expectations of the family. In January, I got a call. Someone in the family had hung himself in his garage. Unquestionably, depression played a part, but I know that one of the things that fueled his depression, and ultimately led to his demise, was being forced into a mold that he didn't want to occupy. He had a life that he never wanted, all to fullfill the expectations and fall in line with the ideals of the family. And one day...it became too much. I would never myself go to such extreme, wasteful measures. But I understand, I think.

Just once would it kill the rest of my family to be happy for me? To be excited that I'm trying to go after my dreams? It hurts me so much that they instead sit in judgement and disapproval. Bad enough that I didn't *gasp* go to college. I'm doomed without higher education! Worse is the notion that I'm chasing some flight of fancy, like I haven't a brain in my head. Yet worse, the notion that my friends where I'm going aren't really my friends, that they don't care for me. It's insulting to be treated like a retarded step child that hasn't the sense to come in out of the rain. All because I don't fit the ramrod stiff family definition of success.

I read a great quote from someone I follow on Twitter:
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."-Herman Cain

Can't they understand that is what I am chasing? I am not making this change because my "Hollywood" friends have influenced some foolishness in me. I am taking myself to a place where I have the opportunities to do what makes me happy. Those opportunities do not exist here. The best I could hope for here is mediocrity. I am not ok with that.

I don't need your approval. But I would like your support. I have thought it through. I am not a child. I'm almost 30, and I have every right to pursue what I love. You don't have to like it, but keep your misplaced pity and disapproval to yourself, and instead try to be glad that I'm reaching for happiness. Don't treat me like an outcast because I'm not what YOU think I should be. I am me. I am not you.

Happy 20th Bungie, and Happy Bungie Day to All!

I'm posting this a little early, since Bungie Day isn't until July 7th, but I figured since Bungie themselves have already begun the festivities to end all festivities, it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and put my little tribute up.

Taken on Corvette, during an epic game of Firefight Doubles, this beautiful cap of me wearing Bungie's eternal blue flames is my celebration and my thank you for all that Bungie has done. My best wishes to everyone at Bungie on their future projects...but...we are all a little sad to see you go. Halo, and the Halo Nation, will be just a bit less without you.

New Beginning

Hey everyone!

So, I'm starting a new blog over here at Blogger because Yahoo is doing away with their blogging service. *sadface* I tried exporting my blog in the hopes of bringing it over here, but I'm having technical difficulties, unfortunately. I sent a mail off to customer support so we'll see what comes of that. Its no great tragedy except perhaps to you, the readers. I have all of my blogs saved, but of course if I can't get an importable file, then there won't be an archive for you guys. *double sadface* Hell I don't even know if I can do an import here, so it might not matter anyway.

Anyway...here's to a new beginning here on Blogger. Hope its a long, happy relationship. :)